Jeff Foxworthy on Buffalo NY
If you consider it a sport to sit in a ice hut all day long with a rod and reel just to put perch in your freezer, you might live in Buffalo.
If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Lewiston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Buffalo.
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Buffalo.
If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Buffalo.
If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Buffalo; because you’re all so damn friendly.
If you have ever worn shorts, sunglasses and a parka at the same time, you might live in Buffalo.
If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, or if you are in church and your priest or minister asks you to pray for the Bills, and wants to get you all home for 1 p.m. kickoff you might live in Buffalo.
If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Buffalo.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Buffalonian when:
1. “Vacation” means going over to your cabin in Canada for the weekend.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.
4. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
6. You carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them.
7. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
8. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
9. You know all 4 seasons: almost fall, winter, still winter and road construction.
10. Down South to you means ERIE, PA.
11. You find ‘0′ degrees “a little chilly.”
12. You go out to fish fry every Friday, Prime Rib on Saturday, and bingo every Wednesday.
13. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
14. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
15. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Buffalo friends!
